Today’s Words of Wisdom: Love is

Today’s Words of Wisdom are inspired by a video I watched a few weeks back (included below).  I have been confused-face-with-glassesreflecting a good amount on friendship and unconditional love after recently considering ending a longtime friendship.  As I have grown older I have learned to recognize people, places, and situations that will either lift me up or tear me down.  I have also learned the value of having true helpmates in my life.   While also understanding that these helpmates can serve various purposes.  But getting to this point has been far from easy.  Wisdom comes with learning from mistakes so that you never repeat them again.  Yet, acquiring this wisdom can be difficult because  one does not always realize a repeated mistake until it happens.

Such was the case within this friendship.  My having a very giving nature had been fruitful when the people around me did not take advantage of that nature.  “There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.”― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey.  But I had finally come to realize that this person was a taker and could not do for me what I was doing for him/her.  My resentment for this lack of reciprocity was starting to change me.  I could not come to terms that our methods of friendship/love were different.  And- once I realized the change in myself and the difference in our approaches- I resolved to help my friend see my perspective in hopes that it would help spark change in this friend.  I did not approach the situation from a place of unconditional love and acceptance. 

I had forgotten that “love is patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.”Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember; adaptation of 1Corinthians 13:4-8.

anna-quach-love-is-patient

Like many others I firmly believe in the power of love and of giving it freely. But I had to remind myself that love is also a commitment to accept the faults not only in myself  but also in others.  I also have to be cognizant that unless there is a mutual understanding of how two people approach friendships/relationships/love, I cannot expect the other person to be who I want them to be.  Sometimes it is important for the person to be exactly who they are in order to help you become a better version of you.  I had resolved to be honest and understand that while the friendship may not be exactly what I want it to be it could be exactly what I need it to be.

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

  In the spirit of the powerful message in this video, I would like to encourage you to be open and honest with those you love.  Love simply, so that others can simply love!

Advertisements

Principle designer at Noelle Ivey Designs, graphic, print & social media design for @mrcbu & @buodei, and #PSPfit Admin. I am a creative being that loves to read, sometimes write, but always watch and listen! My heart cries out for peace, love, acceptance and service of others.

Tagged with: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Family, Inspiration and Motivation, Love
2 comments on “Today’s Words of Wisdom: Love is
  1. […] Today’s Words of Wisdom: Love is (tanyahbarnes.com) […]

  2. […] Today’s Words of Wisdom: Love is (tanyahbarnes.com) […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,502 other followers

Follow me on Twitter
Instagram: @tbarnes41
Tis the season for scholarship, dress-up and gifting. Last night I had an amazing time with my sorors at @apalachinalumnaedst Give the Gift of Education Gala. Kudos to the planning committee, it was truly a beautiful event! Thanks to all of the Binghamton University students that attended, hope you enjoy your final exam gift. You got this! #DST1913 #RedAlert #MyBlackIsBeautiful #itsbeginningtolookalotlikechristmas
That time when you are featured on the news for being joyous, wild and free in your Ugly Sweater. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. #uglysweatercontest #WeAreBinghamton
A Queen, wild and free.
I woke with the urge to share, so here it goes! 🤷🏽‍♀️😚 • • My work home— @mrcbinghamton. I am indeed so proud of what you’ve become in such a short time. It’s only been a year and we’ve had thousands of visits, opened our prayer room, hosted a plethora of cultural organization programs, expanded our student employment opportunities, added collaborations with UCC and Fleishman, added electronic check-in, and so much more. • • Bing we’re open from 9am-12am for Final Exam Extended Hours, today through Dec. 14th— come study with us. 📝📚📓💯 • • And, to all my favorite MRC & Bing alumni, come back and visit. You will love this place. 😉💚 • #WeAreBinghamton #ForTheCulture
A little more knowledge to help your holiday be “inclusive” or well, less racist. 📸 📝: @rachel.cargle (link in her bio).
... Or well intentioned Black, Indigenous and People of Color. Sharing because I haven’t posted a resistence tool in a while and this just might save your Thanksgiving (National Day of Mourning) holiday gathering or the lives of BIPOC 🤷🏽‍♀️. ・・・ @nowhitesaviors: SWIPE RIGHT 👉🏾👉🏼👉🏿 We chose to ask this anonymously, the answers came flooding in & there have been so many powerful, important responses. 🌿 “Black, Indigenous and People of Color: What do white people need to know? What message would you like to send with total anonymity?” 🌿 We also discussed with a few of you that this could never really be a safe space for BIPOC. This platform has been focused on holding white folx and foreign nationals accountable for harmful actions in development work as well as providing anti-racism education. Truthfully? I don’t know that any predominately white space could feel safe for BIPOC - which is exactly why we chose to ask with the promise of keeping responses anonymous. 🌿 You must know this, if you are the white parents of an adopted BIPOC child; if you are the white partner of a BIPOC person; if you are white and have friends or family members who are BIPOC.... Really ask yourself this question: ARE YOU A SAFE PERSON FOR THEM? Because I promise you, regardless of how open you think your relationship is, there are things they do not feel like they can tell you. They are worried that you will use your good intentions as an excuse for the way you are *unintentionally* hurting them. 🌿 We have many people share things with us and ask to remain anonymous or for the conversation to be kept private. Some fear losing their jobs or having to cater to white feelings/tears. Others are just plain tired of having to try and justify their experience in this world. Then there are those of us living in fear for our lives or physical safety for speaking about such things. 🌿 #nowhitesaviors 📸: @nowhitesaviors
@dstinc1913: Our prayers and deepest condolences are with the family and loved ones of Soror Aisha Fraser Mason who recently lost her life due to a senseless act of violence. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or visit their website to chat online 24/7.
#LaterGram to that time I ran into @suezette during #CBCALC18. You have exuded #BlackGirlMagic since our days on BSU executive board at UF and continue to be one of my sheroes. Happy Birthday, Zette! I pray the Lord keeps shining his light on you for another 37 years and beyond. It’s a Tampa thang! #GoGators #TampaBay #Floridagirl
1. Last Thurs in Montego Bay, JA vs. 2. Today in Binghamton, NY. Take me back, Jamaica!!! #winterwonderland #itsbeginningtolookalotlikechristmas #Imissthesun
Return of the DynaSTy, Lambda Psi Spring 2003, celebrates 15 in Jamaica! Love my line sisters!!! God does marvelous tingz! #ROTD15 #DynaSTyruntingz #LovelyLambdaPsi #deltasigmatheta #UFAlumni #DST1913
Jamaica, mi luv yah like cook food! #ROTD15 #DynaSTyruntingz #DST #lovelylambdapsi
Now boarding, next stop 🇯🇲. Hardly home, but always reppin’! Can’t wait to see more of ROTD. #InternationalTB #jettsetter #vacayvibes
Archives
%d bloggers like this: